The Hook and the Haymaker by Jared Yates Sexton

He writes about how boys are socialized to repress emotions instead of anger, to devalue anything that is perceived as 'feminine,' and to enact aggression and violence to prove their masculinity. He does so in a way that adds context and builds to the narrative instead of distracting from it.

Sexton also does a splendid job incorporating research about masculinity throughout this book. I appreciated how he wrote about going to therapy and the courage it takes to seek help. Through his sharing in this book, Sexton emulates how more men, especially white men, should act: confronting our trauma with self-compassion while owning up to the ways we perpetuate misogyny and other forms of oppression. I loved how Sexton shares his personal story with us, how he started out as a soft, sensitive child and hardened after experiencing abuse and problematic masculine role models, outside of his mother and grandfather. In The Man They Wanted Me to Be, Jared Yates Sexton writes about his and his family's experience of toxic masculinity, the research showing toxic masculinity's negative health and relational consequences, and how toxic masculinity contributes to Trump and the rise of the alt-right. Sexton turns his keen eye to the establishment of the racist patriarchal structure which has favored white men, and investigates the personal and societal dangers of such outdated definitions of manhood.Īn essential book for destroying the patriarchy and creating better men for us all. Donald Trump's campaign successfully leveraged male resentment and entitlement, and now, with Trump as president and the rise of the #MeToo movement, it’s clearer than ever what a problem performative masculinity is.ĭeeply personal and thoroughly researched, The Man They Wanted Me to Be examines how we teach boys what’s expected of men in America, and the long term effects of that socialization-which include depression, suicide, misogyny, and, ultimately, shorter lives. Jared Yates Sexton alternates between an examination of his working class upbringing and historical, psychological, and sociological sources that examine the genesis of toxic masculinity and its consequences for society.Īs progressivism changes American society, and globalism shifts labor away from traditional manufacturing, the roles that have been prescribed to men since the Industrial Revolution have been rendered as obsolete. The author of The People Are Going to Rise Upon Your Shore turns his keen eye to our current crisis of masculinity using his upbringing in a rural, patriarchal home as an entry point to consider the personal and societal dangers of performative genderīased on his provocative and popular New York Times op-ed, The Man They Wanted Me to Be is both memoir and cultural analysis.

The Hook and the Haymaker by Jared Yates Sexton